Canadian Thanksgiving

Tonight at 9pm we are gathering together as one family and celebrating a tradition we normally celebrate in November but this weekend it is the traditional holiday in Canada. So to bring home to America for a couple of our brothers we are having a thanksgiving feast! I'm really looking forward to it! It's going to be a lot of fun! (and not to worry I'm wearing my stretchy pants)

I took the day to myself today and ya know I really enjoyed it. It gave me sometime to do homework and just to have a day of peace. I did miss going to church this morning but I absolutely loved sitting out underneath a tree and marveling at God's wonderful creation. It is a gorgeous day today!

So I started a new book talking about grace and it has really got me thinking...when we become new Christians we understand grace as the most incredible gift ever...and as we grow we tend to forget that incredible gift and start doing things on our own..."earning" our own salvation. and it just really made me think and reevaluate my life and the way i live.
do i fully rely on God for EVERYTHING or am I trying to do it on my own?

i heard a song the other day and it just really spoke what I was feeling into words out loud...

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You
Oh, speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I wanna rest in You
Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry
And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, let me rest in You
I'm restless, so restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I will rest in You

while i'm waiting...

well since I've been home I've lived in the fast lane...and the slow lane. I've been to Tennessee, Kentucky, and Illinois. I've had good days and I've had bad days. I've had days where I am so glad to be back home with my family and friends...and I've had days where I want nothing more to be back in Africa! But one thing has reminded true everyday...GOD IS FAITHFUL!
He hasn't been proven wrong in thousands of years and he certainly hasn't been proven wrong in the 4 weeks I've been home!
It says in the bible "call on my name and I will be there!"
He calls us to live every day for Him! To live it out loudly and boldly! Acts 20:24 says: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
My life means nothing to me unless I am living it fully for Jesus! I've come to realize those bad days are worse than need be because I am not turning to Jesus first. I am turning people for comfort. Not Jesus. He taught me all summer long that my comfort was solely found in him. So why am i not remembering that now that i'm back home? Well to be honest, I don't know. but i'm realizing that life doesn't work with out him! i need him for the little things, and the big things! He taught me all summer about the peace and comfort that all comes from him. it is now my duty as a Christian to follow through with that and learn to follow him EVERY DAY!
One of things that i struggle with in trusting him completely is my future. What is in store for it...and who is in it. I struggle all the time with wanting to rush ahead of time and find the man I'm supposed to love, and be loved by. But everyday some how God reminds me it's all in His timing..no matter how much i want to rush it, its going to come according to God's plan and time...NOT MINE! And thats hard, really hard. But I am slowly learning and relearning and learning it again to turst him every day with this...and knowing that one day God is going to give me a man I love with all my heart and he loves me with his whole heart but loves Jesus more. It may take a few more times of learning this...but I'm trying!

Are you following him every day? with EVERYTHING? It's a lot easier said then done...and then you might even think you are...but my challenge to you as i do it my self...is reevaluate your self and your walk with the Lord...are you trusting him with EVERYTHING?...EVERYDAY?

life's to short...

today I lost a dear sister, cousin, and friend.
today I was reminded how important a simple phone call is, a knock on the door, a text...just to say you love them.

have you taken the time today to tell the ones you love, how special and important they are to you?

well if you haven't then stop reading this and go do it. yes, i do mean now.

Jesus is our ultimate comforter! He has a reason for bringing Robin home today, and so all His glory must be shown! While we just don't understand, but at the same time...understanding is just out of the question. For if we knew the answer, I truly believe, we couldn't handle it. God has this perfect plan of glory...and Robin was a part of it today.

Robin was 44, it's just to young. But any life taken is just to young. But knowing and trusting she is up in heaven having a grand old time with her mom and dad and all the people that have gone before her...knowing that, helps. it doesn't cover all and make everyone happy or pain free...but it helps.

Pain will come and go...some days will be easier than others. but as for today the wound is fresh, and deep.
So i leave you with this...instead of filling the wound with the generic stuff from the world...fill it with Jesus...the SUPER GLUE!

the rush of a life time

is running up the escalator to see your family with balloons and a welcome home sign all wearing pink just anxiously awaiting you to come up; a lady saying "NO RUNNING", but don't worry you don;t stop and listen to her...you keep running ...running straight into their arms, tears running down your face and never wanting to let go!

 

I'm home! let me say that again...I'M HOME! what a great feeling that is! I got to spend a few days with just my mom and dad and grandparents and my best friend in Tennessee and just catching up with them was wonderful. I've missed so much! The time with them was needed! But now I'm home! And I love it! I get to go to church in the morning...I am soooo excited! I have missed my church so much! My dad is preaching and my whole family (or what it seems like) is coming along with Meagan - all to hear him preach!
I haven't heard him preach since we were at Shiloh...I am very excited to hear him! I think he is a great preacher! Yeah, I might be a little biased but i don't care!

I am going to continue to post blogs about the things I learned and saw...but i do want to say this...anyone who has questions or just wants to know about it, please just ask! i will be happy to tell you all you want to know about it!
The Lord rocked Africa! There is so much to tell! ...and I want to share it with you!

 

What an amazing trip with an amazing end! Saying goodbye to all the wonderful people we have met and trying to learn the tools to bring everything we've learned back to the states!
I am very much looking forward to coming home but very sad I am leaving the amazing work that is happening here in cote d' ivoire!
Please pray for safe travel...we are all very excited to see paris for a day and a half!
Talk to when I'm back in the states!
Em

time is running out...

Acts 20:24
“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus – the work of telling others the Good news about the wonderful grace of God.”

So lets recap…I arrived in Abidjan 5 weeks ago yesterday and since then I have experienced new foods, new housing, new friends, a new culture, a new language, and definitely a new intimacy with the Lord. I have walked with students as they first hear about the wonderful love of Jesus, and watch them accept Him into their hearts. I’ve seen other students grow in their faith, as they renew their faith. I’ve seen old faiths freshened by just once again realizing God’s unfailing love and grace.
When people say you must preach the gospel to yourself on a daily basis…. it is totally true! Talking people through the gospel on a daily basis has brought a renewed freshness to my faith! It just blows my mind Jesus died on the cross…for me! FOR ME! ( and you, don’t you worry! ;) )
I got the privilege of celebrating my 21st birthday while being here. And if you have been apart of past birthday celebrations please don’t take offense to this…but this was by far the BEST birthday ever! I got the honor of going and sharing the gospel and having fellowship with the amazing people that are on this trip with me. It was just an awesome day! I got emails after emails and facebook notifications after notifications with birthday wishes that made me feel more loved than one could ever dream. I felt so blessed, and still do!
There are so many different things that I’ve seen and smelled here that I have been trying to figure out how to describe them to people back home…but I can’t! The sights are so different than what I have ever imagined. There is the very high, nicest of things and buildings, and then the very low, run down buildings and sights. I’ve smelled things that one person should never smell or really expect to smell. And then there are some smells that remind me of home…like the beach. I’ve been to the beach here and it is beautiful. It is very different than back home on the east or west coast but it’s the beach and it’s beautiful nonetheless.
Two weekends ago we went to Yamoussoukro the capital of Cote d’ Ivoire; to my surprise much smaller and not as nice as Abidjan. We saw where the president lives, the university there, a mini market, and we got to go swimming. We also got to go see the largest basilica in the world. It’s hard to describe how small you feel next to something so massive and so beautiful (don’t worry, I have pictures!) We stayed in a hostile, which was actually really fun and clean!
Well we may not have been in America for Fourth of July but we didn’t need to be! We had our very own party right here in Africa! We invited a bunch of our new friends from the university over and some staff from Crusade and had ourselves a BBQ! While they didn’t necessarily taste the EXACT same, it was very good! We had cheeseburgers, hot dogs, French fries, and chocolate chip cookies…served with lemonade! We couldn’t find fireworks…. not shocking, lol but we found a nice substitution of confetti bombs which where a huge hit! We all thoroughly enjoyed the party, and we think the Ivoirians did too!
Now the countdown begins…two weeks from today we will all be home….if we were all truly honest we would probably say we are getting pretty excited and maybe some a little anxious! We do love it here! And we love being with each other and sharing the gospel! But we do miss our families and friends and can’t wait to tell them all about the marvelous things the Lord is doing here in Cote d’ Ivorie and in our own lives!
We will spend the next two weeks on campus preparing the students for when we leave to continue on with cru and how to get involved! This Friday we are going to an orphanage, which I can’t wait for! I am so excited, but I also realize leaving the kids will be harder than I will probably ever be able to imagine.
Our team statement…
One Calling. One Answer.
One Gospel, 1 GOD.
One Summer. 21 Servants.
Cote D’ Ivorie 2010

See you soon!
With all my love, Emiley

one love, africa love

i have to say how sorry i am i haven't written more! our internet is off and on and thats just on top of this crazy life here in africa! the trip has been absolutely amazing! its been 3 weeks and what an amazing 3 weeks it has been! i celebrated my 21st birthday here and let me tell you it was the best birthday ever! to see the hearts of students lives being changed for Christ makes everything worth it! the Lord is up to something great! but please please please dont stop praying! there are tons of spiritual warfare going on in all of us and at the same time the enemy is trying to stop us physically too! the health and safety of our team is of top priority! i will try to write more but please know i love you all and miss you tons and tons! 3 weeks from today ill be home!!!! :) i miss you all, more than you know! but please trust me when i say i am doing great! the Lord is really showing himself to me and im learning so much! see you soon! love to all! em

the love of Jesus in a different language

sharing the love of Jesus in America is difficult because its not culturally appropriate but here even in a DIFFERENT language we have some how managed to break the barrier and show the truth of the gospel!

first off i have to say I'm sorry for not writing this sooner.

but can i just tell you what an amazing time the first week was?

oh my goodness! i don't know how to express to you on here how amazing it was!

we started off in Denver for our over night briefing. then flew out the next morning and got here to Abidjan Monday evening (which to me felt like early early Monday morning, but time zone said other wise)

the first week was all about getting used to the culture and training for campus.

monday through thursday night we have a man named ramone' come in and make us traditional meals. whichhhhh i have to say are very very good! i haven't had a meal i didn't like. (surprised? i am! Lol)

friday and today were our actual first days on Cocody University campus! While it was very overwhelming with people just coming up to you and surrounding you....it was and is the most exciting thing i have ever been apart of! Today i shared the gospel with 6 people. I dont know if any decisions were made but they all seemed to be very excited about it and wanted to know more. One girl imparticular named Alexandria came up to me and we were talking....(by the way all the students we are talking too, are studying English so they are actually understanding what we have to say) and we got to talking about Jesus and she just lit up this huge smile on her face and just started going on and on about her love for Him. Then a few minutes later she said "ooh! ill be right back..." okay? i thought she was just using that to get out of the conversation but no...just a few minutes later she came back over with a friend of hers and was like..."tell him all about Jesus!" and then we would be talking and she would bring another friend over and another and another! she was just so on fire for the Lord it was crazy! I loved it! I can't wait to go back tomorrow!

To fill you in for those of you who are wondering if im home sick. i am here to tell you, no. i am not. and while don't get me wrong i miss home and my family. this is EXACTLY where i am supposed to be, and the exact moment God wanted me here...and IM LOVING IT!!!

The people on the project with me were already my family by the time we got to Paris. We have so much fun together! we can goof off and we can have a heart to heart. They already mean so much to me and its only been a week!

Prayer Requests: That the students at the university would have an open heart to the truth of the Lord. That the University continues to corporate with us and our mission. That the students on project stay healthy and safe! And for all my family and friends back home, that the Lord would do something special in their lives while im gone!

thats all for now. May God bless your day!

All the way from Abidjan Ivory Coast, Africa!

Emiley

how time goes by...

so quickly!

my dad said it right this morning...it feels like only a few weeks from the time i made the decision to go to now i am leaving.

i have always wished time away and now im wishing it to slow down! as the goodbyes start coming i am slowly realizing the time i have left. but i am so thankful i have so many encouragements and reminders that i have to take with me.

last night was the first time i think it really hit me...im leaving. for 6 weeks.

and im not gonna lie...i balled. but it was good to cry. i hadn't really cried about any of it yet. but i talked it out with mom and i just feel reassured this morning that its going to be okay. this is going to be a growing experience in every way possible ...even for my family.

i really dont know what to say except that im leaving tomorrow...i am going to try to update my blog as often as i can get to a computer. but i dont know how much that will be.

please continue to pray for me, our team, and for people over there that will probably be hearing the gospel for the first time.

i love you all. talk to you soon.

its almost weird.

its kind of surreal.

in 10 days and some odd hours and minutes and seconds...i will be on my way to denver for our briefing and then off to Abidjan we go.

mom and i went shopping today for all the detail stuff like sunscreen, medicines, shampoo, deodorant, ect... but i can now say except for one more thing i am ready to go. i've got my bags...including a new vera bradely bag!! ;) and i've got all the materialistic items i need so i guess whats left, is to go.

i was talking to a very good friend from indiana tonight and was kind of saying the same thing to him... we were talking about the rest is yet to come...for when i get there. i just have to have patience, peace, faith, and trust...that the Lord will take care of me and provide all I need while I'm there.

its really weird how much peace i have about going. i know im nervous, but im not that nervous. im more nervous for the unknown but its not a bad nervous...more of a excited nervous. I am very grateful for the peace I have, and i know it is all from the Lord! he is such an awesome God, and i am so blessed to be able to go and do his work!

i will leave you with this...

"Faith that you will have fun,

Wisdom says that you should be safe,

and

Trust in the people taking you there."

- Tanner Brooks.

15 days and counting

well just a few more days and the day will be here. the day i leave for Africa. i can't believe it. thats crazy to even think about...i am going to Africa...i am going to Africa. i am going to Africa. thats so unreal to me, even still this close to leaving.

as i said my goodbyes to my friends at school it didnt really feel like i was leaving for summer which meant leaving for Africa. it just felt as if we were saying bye for like a week...it didn't feel the same as it normally did. someone said bye and gave me a hug...and said have an amazing trip..and i was like..what? ...it took me a minute...but i got it...that was the last time i would see them before i left and i was really leaving. i kind of feel jipped almost in my goodbyes from school...i dont know how to explain it but i just want another chance almost. I didn't really get to say what i wanted and to do what i wanted...i miss them all already. i didn't get to tell them all i love them, but i hope they already know that. As my mom is preparing for me to leave it makes me wonder what her life will be like when im not here, i wonder what Meagan's will be like...but i think it will be normal. i think it will all be normal. life will go on. we might sell the house, and we might move. but for me. my life will not be normal. for the first time i will be going so far out of my comfort zone and doing things i've never done before. and each day i feel the Lord preparing my heart more and more for this amazing journey. but i dont think anything will ever fully prepare me for this. its going to be one crazy ride.

my mom is throwing me a going away party...that just blows my mind. a party just for me. and its not my birthday. i have the greatest friends and family ever. they are such a huge part of my life, i wouldn't be where i am with out them. i am so blessed to have them in my life.

please continue praying for me but more importantly our team as we prepare as a team to go and do the Lords work. and even more for the people and their hearts. that they would be open to us and to the God's word!

i really do love you, all.

a waterfall to say the least...

today, one of my best friends left.

that in its self is hard to say. Tanner Brooks is an amazing guy, and awesome friend. I have known him for only 258 days. In those days he has managed to wiggle his way into my heart; and not only become a friend, but a brother. He has inspired, calmed, laugh, sang, danced, cheered up, saved the nights with qt, and tons more - with many of us. needless to say, he is always been so much fun to hang around. be jealous if you didn't get the chance to hang out with him.

i know we will talk about the visits to Indiana and when he comes here. but i have to think realistically. it just wont be the same. i can't text or call him to say, "QT?" because that would be a long drive to get qt. worth it? yes. possible multiple times a week, no. it will be great when he comes here or we go there. i know. and those moments together will be amazing. but i have to think that my life will be different with out him.

he was such a big help to Jessi this year and i just think about... what will i do when i need him? its hard to think that tomorrow he wont be at lunch. but i think the weirdest part will be when we come back in the fall, and he's not here.

please understand tanner didn't die. he just moved back home and is transferring to a different school. his reasoning for transferring, is very logical. i just don't like it. he will be an amazing Olympic shooter, and lawyer. i know the lord has awesome plans for his life! and i truly believe he was put into my life for some reason, i have yet to figure out.

one of the most vivid memories i have while he was here - is from the night we were up for hours talking politics. the boy is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. that's very admirable. he believes what he believes, and has back up for it all. I can honestly say, that if i end up marrying a man half the man of what tanner is, i will be blessed. tanner has been such a great example of such a Godly, a fun spirited, intelligent man.

Tanner Lee Brooks came into our lives 258 days ago and turned our world up side down. my life will never be the same, and for that, i am thankful.

...i hate change.

its about time, i know

you may have been wondering why i haven't blogged in a while? did i fall off the face of the earth? no silly, I've just been super busy. and when blogging came to my mind i wondered what to write about, and so much stuff was happening i just couldn't narrow it down to one specific thing to write about so i just wouldn't do it.

so i guess its this time in the the blog where i start my topic...and today's topic is ...drum roll please...

LOVE!

lately i have been learning a lot about love. and just all the different aspects of it all, and how important it is to a person.

there are tons of different verses in the bible that reference love and how to love one another...examples? yes!

lets just start with one of the more well known verses on LOVE...

John 3:16 - "For God so LOVED the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

or how about...

Proverbs 17:21 - "A friends LOVES at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

anddd....

John 15:12-13 - "My command is this, LOVE each other as I have LOVED you. Greater LOVE has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

butttt my favorite one is...

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

God shows the ultimate love when he sent his son to die on the cross for us, what an amazing LOVE that is. he gives us all of these to show how he commands us to LOVE! Someone said tonight in bible study, "when you die, how do you want people to remember you?" and i had to honestly think about that because you know first answer out of my mouth would have been for amazing shoes, or hair, or something ridiculous like that. So i thought, and i said, LOVE. I want to be known for love. I pray that when people think of me, they see the LOVE i have for Jesus, and for them, and all I did in life. I want them to see where I learned to LOVE, and how deeply i LOVE.

Today, wherever you are, stop and think...what will people remember about me?

Really think about it, don't just blow it off. It may just change the way you live.

I'll leave you with this thought...

a friend of mine was telling me that someone told her she used the word LOVE to much...and my thought to you is, do you use it enough? Do you LOVE loudly?...think about it!

With all my LOVE,

Em

its been to long...

its been a while since i've written. a lot has happened. but its also just been the typical day to day stuff, just a lot of time has passed.

i wish i knew what i was going to say, or what my emotions were trying to tell me. So I guess I'll just try to start some where...

a lot has been going through my mind today. its been a good day, the sun was shining, my classes went well, and it was a good day with friends. I even helped a friend out when she locked her keys in her running car. But still in the back of my mind i kept thinking about what this week was like, last year; and all of the events to follow. Last year was hard. it was a time in my life when i really didn't have the personal relationship with Christ like i do now. so it was easy to get wrapped up into things that didn't matter. I would ever react way to easily, i would let the littlest of things bother me, and decisions based on what i want not what the Lord has planned for me. I have had some hard days and some easy days. Days where I wonder what it would be like, and days where I'm so thankful its not even close. I know that it has all worked out accordingly to Gods plan, and for that I am thankful. But I can't help to wonder what it would be like, I can't help to in some way miss it. There were some days I wouldn't trade for the world. The feelings, the dreams - they were great; but they weren't realistic. And most importantly they weren't according to God's plan. Thats where it always gets me...God's plan works, mine does not. I am so tired of failing, and falling short...I can't do anything else but give it all to the Lord. Time after time i try making my own ways, my own plans, my own dreams....and time after time my plans fail, and don't come through. But to my surprise (which it should not surprise me) God's plan always succeeds. I wrote down in my journal during bible study last night: Do you believe God is faithful in what he says he will do? or do you think He is a liar?

how intense is that? like really, even the thought of calling God a liar just makes me sick. but then as i think about it, how many times do my actions show that? how many times do i try to take control, when He clearly says "give it all to me I will take care of it!"

thats very hard to swallow for me...because i dont' want to keep trying to take control of my life,i want God to be in charge, ALL the time.

i want His plan, because it won't fail!

a lot more to talk about, but not for now. but until then I pray...

the Lord will show you His perfect plan for you, and that you just willingly give it all to Him; and let Him have it ALL!

In Him,

Emiley

making my schedule...

so this week i officially changed my major...for the 4th time, yes go ahead and laugh its okay.

my new major: vocal / choral music education! woooot!

the point of telling you this is so you understand why I'm planning the way i am...

i was making my schedule the past few days for next fall and as i was picking class times and teachers; and i finally have it figured out i think, including my first night class. and i started to think what about work, what about the source, I wonder if we can switch bible study night, and when I'm going to eat lunch and I wonder when everyone else will eat lunch, blah blah blah. as i planned whether or not if i would take weight lifting, so that i can have a stable schedule...and a reason to get up on Tuesday and Thursdays. and thinking about master class and time for practicing my music and spending time on my homework. when I'll get to do RA duty and see my mom, go home, ect...

Did you feel as if anything was missing?after thinking about it, i noticed it. There was not even a thought about daily time with God. I was so caught up in becoming and education major, and finding the best and easiest teachers, and time for my mom, Ra duty, work, and homework...like you read. Yes there was a thought for the source and bible study but that's not my personal time with God.

i think my focus this week will to be on learning how to make him the first thing i do in my day and not having to fit him in my schedule...my schedule will work around God! that is for sure...it just takes discipline and i want to make sure it becomes a consistent thing! and we shouldn't have to "fit" him in...he should be the first thing we WANT to do! i do desire that time with him, its just the excuses on a daily basis that i make to not do it. but enough is enough. I'm doing it!

I'll blog later as to how that goes. please pray for me as i try to do this, and i will pray that you try to do the same...stop making god a daily scheduled have too, but a daily desire.

have a great rest of your Sunday!

blessings,

Em

what a beautiful mornin' ohhh...

Welllll last night's blog wasn't the happiest of blogs now was it...but you know as soon as i wrote that blog i went and laid down and i was just praying to god how unfair this all was and then i leaned over and grabbed my stack of verses and let it fall half down and i picked the one that was facing up....and you know what it said James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." and i was just laying there reading it going really god....really! so i got up and went to Jess's room and knocked on her door and we both looked at each other and laughed...she then preceded to hand me her phone as i handed her the verse...her phone said..."i read your blog...Ephesians 4:26 "in your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
i just looked at her as she looked at me and then we both just went and sat down and talked.....that was at 1:29....we went to bed at 3:27....but it was needed we both needed to talk through some things and just vent...by the time we went to bed we both were laughing so hard we cried. it was true joy to be able to go to bed not angry anymore.

what I've learned from this? ....is basically exactly what the verses say...in James it talks about considering the hard times joy: why in the world would i want to be thankful for the hard times, the times when I'm hurt...why!? but the Lord calls us to find the joy in it because he is testing our faith and pushing us to persevere. when you think about it, that's all nice and dandy sounding...like oh great thanks God for allowing that because i know you have a better plan but when you are in the moment and you don't want to even think of the positive because you are just to angry...that's a sin...and that goes straight into Ephesians....in your anger do not sin...but if you take that and James...James said to find joy in your trials and Ephesians says do not sin in your anger...do you see how they go together? and really it was more a slap in the face....yes i needed that slap in the face but it was still nonetheless, hard to take. i was sinning in my anger because i wasn't willing to find the joy in it. i wasn't willing to allow god to have complete control of it all. and just last night in our bible study we talked about how God wants all or nothing...

my prayer is that i can truly give him all, and not just 40% of the time...but all the time. are you giving him all? and i do mean all.

take today and enjoy the beauty because it is GORGEOUS outside...and just so you know you....it is dress day! ;)

have a beautiful day in the Lord,

Em

what a beautiful mornin'....ohhhh

well hello again, its only 10:34 and i've worked out, showered, and aced a midterm! what a good feeling that is! jess and i studied last night for almost 2 hours after our ra meeting, and i feel like i totally kicked butt on that midterm!

so i started using a new shampoo this morning....guess what it is....go ahead guess.......did you guess? i dont think you did, now really guess.

i used mane n' tale. yes that is right, im using horse shampoo, BUT let me explain myself...its to make my hair grow faster! its supposed to really work. megan uses it and her hair has grown like 3 inches in a matter of just a couple weeks...so here we go...i may have long hair the next time you see me. which is even weird for me to think about because i've had short hair for almost two years now. but i want to be able to put it into a pony talk for when i got to ivory coast, because you know, i know...its going to be HOT! So i want to be as cool as possible!

yesterday was a good day. i went to church and then to a 6 hour tech rehearsal which kicked off the week of tech rehearsals and opening night....i can't wait until the final light cue on saturday night. but i have to say its a real joy to work with these people. they don't bite your head off and they appreciate the work you do. which is a nice change for me :)

so last night i was laying in bed just praying havin' my daily conversation with God and i reached over and picked up my daily bible verse stand. and while i was doing that i just prayed the Lord would allow me to pick one that would be an encouragement to my day and week and to the other people around me. and i took the deck in half and read this one..."you have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in YOUR presence with eternal pleasures at your hand." Psalm 16:11 i really started to think about this verse, and for me just reading this verse excites me. to think through the lord is when ill find my joy, and then will i be on the right path of life, his path of life for me. i dont know about you but just thinking about being on His path for me excites me because I know his plan is far better than my plan ever could be, or even dream to be. and then to think about the joy i will have when im in the presence of the Lord, is amazing. it takes a lot for me to become speechless but i have no doubt in my mind i will be in the presence of the Lord. He is such an amazing God, its hard to even think of the right words to even justify his name!

My prayer is that everyday i bring glory to his kingdom, but i also know that i fail Him. he expects me to fail, that doesnt make it okay but that does give me the assurance that he still loves me.

today, my heart is heavy as their is conflict between my close "family" i pray for that situation, i know there is nothing i can do execpt to pray. what i dont think they understand is that "we" are the next people to raise up a strong leadership team, and even more heavy, to raise up strong Christians on this campus. and if we dont have our bond, through Christ, strong...then how can we even expect to do the Lord's will. he calls us to have peace among our brothers and sisters...and we do not have peace. i'm praying every single day for them, and even more so today as my heart is heavy; but there is nothing i can do except turn it over to the Lord.

So whats heavy on your heart today? are you taking it to the Lord?...

have a blessed day.

em

He can move the mountains

what a glorious day of praise and thanksgiving this has been!

i wake up finding out that today is full of sun shine and warmth, then i go home to find friends, wonderful friends, helping us fix up our house to sell it so my parents can move up here...which i can not wait for! seriously! i want them up here now more than ever! and then i check the mail....ohhh i check the mail. a little back story....exactly one week ago probably even the same time of day...im sitting in my family room crying to my dad about how i dont know how i am going to get the money for this trip...i just have no clue....and then today...i check the mail..and with 6 responses...i have $695! Praise the Lord! because only from him would i ever have that much. seriously people, i dont think you realize, that if i go i only go because the Lord supplies it ALL. AND I MEAN ALL! with my job being so unsteady i have to rely completely on the Lord for every penny for this trip! what an amazing blessing those 6 people were! wow! and just the other day i was praying that the Lord would just confirm again that this is what he wanted me to be doing with my summer, and its confirmed. without a doubt in my mind!!! He is an amazing awesome God, and i keep being humbled before him every single day! and this is just the beginnning of my trip. i can't wait to see what the next months have in store...because getting there is half the journey!!!

i had a great evening with anna and dj...something we all need to work on...our balance...haha because apparently we find our selves tripping over things in every day life, according to wii fit. haha

what an amazing day. really. i cant wait to wake up and start tomorrow! God is good people! despite what you may be going through, i promise God is still good!

have a lovely evening!

em

i am blessed.

well good morning all...well i guess it is now good afternoon....
oh what a few days it has been! so crazy and emotional. but through it all i can see God's provision. and what an amazing thing that is to me. i am so blessed to have that because if i didn't i think i would be more upset than i am. yes, i am sad please don't mistake that but i am so thankful for God protecting my heart! I am also grateful for all of my friends and their watchful eyes through this too. they have had nothing but my best interest at heart and they have said all things in a caring way. i can just feel the Lord preparing me for something big and I cant wait for whatever it is that may be!
I sent off the majority of my support letters last night! we worked on them for over 6 hours! crazzzyyy!!!! we are going to finish the rest sometime this week. but wow! what an amazing God he is to provide all of those friends! A special thanks to Beth and Stefan for the blessings of last night from the ink and the paper to envelops and to the stamps! wow! and you can't forget dinner, homemade pizza! yuumm! such a huge blessing. and another thank you to Jessica and Anna and Tanner for helping! what amazing friends i have been given! you are all a huge gift from god!
as i sit here writing listening to my 2 John play list I'm thinking of our bible study last night, and while we may have gotten off on some tangents in was tangents focused on the Lord. and one thing that i just keep remembering is...am i allowing him to be enough?! am i allowing God to be all I need and want in my life? Reality probably not, but I want to be able to say yes to that! I want him to be all i ever need! and for those of you who want to know what i frantically wrote in my journal last night during our bible study, it was "i have god" because above all else, i have him! i have him when i don't have a new shirt, a pet, a boyfriend, anything. I have God! I have him above anything else, and that is to often forgotten in my life. I want him to allow him to be enough and all i will ever need!
Ive been privileged enough to get to know a young lady named Hayley...who just might be reading this. but i have to say we were talking about her last night and i am very excited to be meeting her soon! and i can already tell that she will be a huge blessing to us and our campus! PS...GOOD LUCK AT NATIONALS HAYLEY!!!!

DJ and i are having some sibling bonding time....he's reading our book for leadership and well I'm typing this...see bonding ;) i really am blessed to have a brother like him. and well all of the other brothers in my life. i am so blessed! i know i have probably said that a million times, but i am! they are such huge gifts from God! ah! i want to say I'm blessed, but you're probably tired of hearing it....but i don't care....I AM BLESSED!

i hope today you get some sort of encouragement from the surroundings in your life...whether that is from a friend, a stranger, a relative, nature, a song....something! be encouraged, and reminded how blessed you are!!!

have a blessed day!
Em

PS...I am currently listening to "walk on water" Brit Nicole....GO LISTEN!

-------------------------------------
dictionary.com says....

BLESSED
–adjective
1.
consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified: the Blessed Sacrament.
2.
worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship: the Blessed Trinity.
3.
divinely or supremely favored; fortunate: to be blessed with a strong, healthy body; blessed with an ability to find friends.
4.
blissfully happy or contented.
5.
bringing happiness and thankfulness: the blessed assurance of a steady income.


:)

march 1st...a big day

today. i finally am sending off my deposit for ivory coast. i have it all together. and the package is postmarked! i signed my life away, i am theirs forever. today at 2pm i am going to the post office to make it official....so. i can finally say.... it's official..i am going to Abidjan, Ivory Coast for the summer!!!!!

my stomach is just tossing with excitement and nervousness. i have so many thoughts today i really just don't know how to put them all down in words...

i pray to the Lord every day that I'm not wasting my time here on this earth, i want to make an impact. I want to make a change...all for His glory.

I pray that I don't waste my time with guys who have no future in my life. and i worry sometimes that is whats happening. I'm terrified of getting hurt again. but i know that when the right man comes along i wont get hurt, but I'm scared that I'll fall for the wrong one again.

please don't read into what is above, just remember a lot of things are just thoughts that I'm trying to figure out how to get down...

peace, i need peace. my ultimate peace comes from Christ. and i pray that is where your peace comes from too.

He is my love, my first true love.

He is my safety. and i need and want to be protected.

a very wise woman told me last night, when we stop urning for our the things in life is when we will be given them. we have to find them all in god first, not a human being.

What is distracting you from your walk with God?

think about it...

why dont i just have faith...

really! think about it. why don't i just have faith. true undeniable unchangeable irresistible unquestionable faith. So many times i am humbled to the Lord. just yesterday, yes yesterday said to my dad "i have no doubt that God wants me to spend my summer in Africa, but i have no idea how i am going to pay for it." my dad and i talked it out, i left and rocked it out to some christian music on the way back to school and just gave it all to God. but little did i know that i was going to be humbled today. I text Beth and said soooo i just found out that i need to turn in $1000 for my project by March 12th....thats two weeks! so when can we do the letters? (yes, i still have to write my letters, are you freaking out as much as i am?) any way she calls me and we are doing letters on Tuesday night, and just listening to her talk gave me so much peace and comfort and then for her to tell me just bring my self and what i want to put in my letter thoughts. they would provide the rest. do you know how much of a blessing that is to me? all paper, envelops, and ink. really!? that is so amazing! they are such loving caring people. it just made me fall before the Lord again in amazement. how great is our God!

i know this is short. but i just had to share.

have a great sunday.

ps. its a great day for a sunday drive ;)

em

a love hate relationship

Well it's Saturday morning....I haven't written in a while only because I've been sick. I feel better now but I'm still so worn out its ridiculous. But thankfully I feel so much better, I just need my throat to stop hurting; and all will be good.

I came home last night after picking up my daddy from the airport. It's been nice to be home for a little bit. I have some laundry that I need to do. But I have to say I had a rude awakening this morning from my dog. He stood at the end of my bed and barked at me until I got up. and ya know he didn't have to go out...he wasn't hungry he just wanted me to get up. now I'm sorry but that was just rude, especially at 8:20 in the morning! And he knows I am mad at him, and he knows it. He tried sitting on my lap and I said don't you even dare we are so fighting right now. So he sat on the opposite chair in the family room at me and every now and then I'll see him peeking over the chair's arm to look at me and I just glare back...its kind of fun actually lol

Well mom is in Texas for Uncle Bill's funeral, oh yeah that's something else that happened this week. My grandpa's brother passed away on Tuesday. Grandad took it kind of hard but then again who wouldn't...it was his brother. Anyway they drove down on Thursday and are coming back on Sunday. I sure do miss my mom, its weird that she isn't here when I am home. But I am enjoying the time with my dad, for sure!

Well tonight is a big night for tanner. He met the fairy on Thursday night at opening night at Anything Goes. And apparently they hit it off, Lauren wanted to hang out...sooooo we are! We are getting a bunch of people together and going out to eat so that its not awkward for them. I'm kind of excited to see how it will work out. But I don't want to be responsible for it if it doesn't....I want the whole world to know all I did in this was introduce them...that's it! the rest is on them! lets just make that clear. lol

Anyway I think that's about all for now...I need to go get started on the laundry.

Have a great Saturday!

Em

How majestic is our God

Hello again.

Well I just have to start out by saying I love the mornings when I get to sleep in and as soon as I get up I get straight into the word of God. It is the best way to start a day! You should try it!

So last night I had to work until 9 and then we had a prayer and worship night put on by all campus ministries...and all I have to say is wow. What an amazing blessing it was to be there last night. It was very moving and convicting. Instead of being afraid of talking to someone I should be more afraid as to where they are going to go when they die...heaven or hell. Those are two extremely real possibilities and yet I'm not concerned with it. I prayed the Lord would break my heart for the people on this campus, and if you are reading this and a believer too, I pray the Lord breaks your heart for the people on whatever campus you maybe on. Where are your friends going when they die? Remember the girl that sits next to you in Bio lab, have you even ever mentioned the name of Christ to her? Remember that professor that made a huge difference in your life just because of the way they cared, do you know where they are going when they die? Will you ever see them again? Think about it...it will break your heart. It did mine.

Well then after that we took Whitney and Ryan drinks because their rehearsal was going almost 2 hours longer than scheduled...oh the days of theatre! i know why i love it but i know why i hate it too! PS. Their opening night is Thursday night! Everyone should go. :)

I have a guest this week, her name is Anna. I'm so excited she is here!!! Everyone is! She was such a huge blessing to me last night! Its awesome to see her walk with the Lord grow everyday, and to be able to walk right beside her!

Well today is a incredibly busy afternoon and evening...class until 5:15 then rehearsal until 7 then the Project Haiti concert then bible study, then bowling, then Beth and Stefan's for game night....because WE DON'T HAVE CLASS TOMORROW!!!!!! wooot! I'm so excited! its going to be a great day!

Well i guess i should start it by taking a shower shouldn't i? i don't think people will appreciate it if i smell icky. because as we all know i appreciate it when people shower ;)

Well you all have a great day!

Em

ps...in case anyone was wondering i did get my nap yesterday... :)

here we go...

Well this is my first one and I'm not exactly what to write about so I'm just going to start...I think this might actually be fun.

Soo anyway I'm sitting here in the library at Lindenwood while Jess is in class. See I'm done for the day and I had this brilliant idea that I could nap while she is in her last class but for some reason all of the couches are full today. Why can't people just get up and leave?! I want to nap! Oh, well. I guess no nap for me.

Anyway I have a ton of stuff going on this week but its all good stuff like tomorrow night I'm staying up all night with my "family" because we don't have class on Wednesday so we are going to go bowling and go to Beth and Stefan's for a while afterwards to play games and eat food. Yum! I'm stoked! And before that is the LU goes red and blue concert. KH is playing, and you know I'm their favorite fan! woot!

Anyway so this guy that was just sitting next to me really didn't smell all that delightful and typically this is where I would say "I appreciate people who shower" but it wasn't because he didn't shower...it was because he reeked of smoke. People, people, people...it even says on the cigarette box that it can kill! Seriously! Com'on now! I don't appreciate you trying to kill me in the process of killing yourself! In the words of Stephanie Tanner, Full House, How rude!

Today is exactly 4 months until my 21st birthday...and I couldn't be more excited because in less than 4 months I'll be leaving for Africa!!! What an awesome birthday present! I couldn't think of a better one! I am so excited to be meeting the team and growing with everyone and sharing my faith! It will be a challenging but exciting summer. Please don't get me wrong. I'm scared, but I have so much peace about it, its ridiculous! haha Who knew I would ever have so much peace about going thousands of miles away for 6 weeks. It most definitely is a God thing! Without Him none of this would ever be possible! I send off my deposit soon and as soon as I do that is when it becomes so incredibly real. Kind of that "Wow!" moment. Like I know I've said yes to the trip but I'm putting money down, I'm signing my name. It's done kind of a thing.

Yeah know sometimes I just like to sit and think of all the many different blessings in my life, and some I'll never even recognize but I know they are there. I have some of the most amazing friends and family. I have no idea what my life would be with out them, and I pray to the Lord every day that I never have to know! I have gone through many struggles in my life but I think I finally see how they were blessings. They have made me who I am. And I pray everyday that who I am today is pleasing and honoring to the Lord. Yes there are some things that I would never ever want to repeat but I thank the Lord for the people who where there to help me walk through everything. I am a very blessed young lady. So to my friends and family that may read this, thank you for always being there and being by my side. You are a gift from God, that i treasure everyday!

Well I think that is enough for now...I'm going to try and hunt down a couch! I'm determined to find one! ;)

Em

Ps. Go read Psalm 100....let it be an encouragment to your day, like it was mine!