its been to long...

its been a while since i've written. a lot has happened. but its also just been the typical day to day stuff, just a lot of time has passed.

i wish i knew what i was going to say, or what my emotions were trying to tell me. So I guess I'll just try to start some where...

a lot has been going through my mind today. its been a good day, the sun was shining, my classes went well, and it was a good day with friends. I even helped a friend out when she locked her keys in her running car. But still in the back of my mind i kept thinking about what this week was like, last year; and all of the events to follow. Last year was hard. it was a time in my life when i really didn't have the personal relationship with Christ like i do now. so it was easy to get wrapped up into things that didn't matter. I would ever react way to easily, i would let the littlest of things bother me, and decisions based on what i want not what the Lord has planned for me. I have had some hard days and some easy days. Days where I wonder what it would be like, and days where I'm so thankful its not even close. I know that it has all worked out accordingly to Gods plan, and for that I am thankful. But I can't help to wonder what it would be like, I can't help to in some way miss it. There were some days I wouldn't trade for the world. The feelings, the dreams - they were great; but they weren't realistic. And most importantly they weren't according to God's plan. Thats where it always gets me...God's plan works, mine does not. I am so tired of failing, and falling short...I can't do anything else but give it all to the Lord. Time after time i try making my own ways, my own plans, my own dreams....and time after time my plans fail, and don't come through. But to my surprise (which it should not surprise me) God's plan always succeeds. I wrote down in my journal during bible study last night: Do you believe God is faithful in what he says he will do? or do you think He is a liar?

how intense is that? like really, even the thought of calling God a liar just makes me sick. but then as i think about it, how many times do my actions show that? how many times do i try to take control, when He clearly says "give it all to me I will take care of it!"

thats very hard to swallow for me...because i dont' want to keep trying to take control of my life,i want God to be in charge, ALL the time.

i want His plan, because it won't fail!

a lot more to talk about, but not for now. but until then I pray...

the Lord will show you His perfect plan for you, and that you just willingly give it all to Him; and let Him have it ALL!

In Him,

Emiley

making my schedule...

so this week i officially changed my major...for the 4th time, yes go ahead and laugh its okay.

my new major: vocal / choral music education! woooot!

the point of telling you this is so you understand why I'm planning the way i am...

i was making my schedule the past few days for next fall and as i was picking class times and teachers; and i finally have it figured out i think, including my first night class. and i started to think what about work, what about the source, I wonder if we can switch bible study night, and when I'm going to eat lunch and I wonder when everyone else will eat lunch, blah blah blah. as i planned whether or not if i would take weight lifting, so that i can have a stable schedule...and a reason to get up on Tuesday and Thursdays. and thinking about master class and time for practicing my music and spending time on my homework. when I'll get to do RA duty and see my mom, go home, ect...

Did you feel as if anything was missing?after thinking about it, i noticed it. There was not even a thought about daily time with God. I was so caught up in becoming and education major, and finding the best and easiest teachers, and time for my mom, Ra duty, work, and homework...like you read. Yes there was a thought for the source and bible study but that's not my personal time with God.

i think my focus this week will to be on learning how to make him the first thing i do in my day and not having to fit him in my schedule...my schedule will work around God! that is for sure...it just takes discipline and i want to make sure it becomes a consistent thing! and we shouldn't have to "fit" him in...he should be the first thing we WANT to do! i do desire that time with him, its just the excuses on a daily basis that i make to not do it. but enough is enough. I'm doing it!

I'll blog later as to how that goes. please pray for me as i try to do this, and i will pray that you try to do the same...stop making god a daily scheduled have too, but a daily desire.

have a great rest of your Sunday!

blessings,

Em

what a beautiful mornin' ohhh...

Welllll last night's blog wasn't the happiest of blogs now was it...but you know as soon as i wrote that blog i went and laid down and i was just praying to god how unfair this all was and then i leaned over and grabbed my stack of verses and let it fall half down and i picked the one that was facing up....and you know what it said James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." and i was just laying there reading it going really god....really! so i got up and went to Jess's room and knocked on her door and we both looked at each other and laughed...she then preceded to hand me her phone as i handed her the verse...her phone said..."i read your blog...Ephesians 4:26 "in your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
i just looked at her as she looked at me and then we both just went and sat down and talked.....that was at 1:29....we went to bed at 3:27....but it was needed we both needed to talk through some things and just vent...by the time we went to bed we both were laughing so hard we cried. it was true joy to be able to go to bed not angry anymore.

what I've learned from this? ....is basically exactly what the verses say...in James it talks about considering the hard times joy: why in the world would i want to be thankful for the hard times, the times when I'm hurt...why!? but the Lord calls us to find the joy in it because he is testing our faith and pushing us to persevere. when you think about it, that's all nice and dandy sounding...like oh great thanks God for allowing that because i know you have a better plan but when you are in the moment and you don't want to even think of the positive because you are just to angry...that's a sin...and that goes straight into Ephesians....in your anger do not sin...but if you take that and James...James said to find joy in your trials and Ephesians says do not sin in your anger...do you see how they go together? and really it was more a slap in the face....yes i needed that slap in the face but it was still nonetheless, hard to take. i was sinning in my anger because i wasn't willing to find the joy in it. i wasn't willing to allow god to have complete control of it all. and just last night in our bible study we talked about how God wants all or nothing...

my prayer is that i can truly give him all, and not just 40% of the time...but all the time. are you giving him all? and i do mean all.

take today and enjoy the beauty because it is GORGEOUS outside...and just so you know you....it is dress day! ;)

have a beautiful day in the Lord,

Em

what a beautiful mornin'....ohhhh

well hello again, its only 10:34 and i've worked out, showered, and aced a midterm! what a good feeling that is! jess and i studied last night for almost 2 hours after our ra meeting, and i feel like i totally kicked butt on that midterm!

so i started using a new shampoo this morning....guess what it is....go ahead guess.......did you guess? i dont think you did, now really guess.

i used mane n' tale. yes that is right, im using horse shampoo, BUT let me explain myself...its to make my hair grow faster! its supposed to really work. megan uses it and her hair has grown like 3 inches in a matter of just a couple weeks...so here we go...i may have long hair the next time you see me. which is even weird for me to think about because i've had short hair for almost two years now. but i want to be able to put it into a pony talk for when i got to ivory coast, because you know, i know...its going to be HOT! So i want to be as cool as possible!

yesterday was a good day. i went to church and then to a 6 hour tech rehearsal which kicked off the week of tech rehearsals and opening night....i can't wait until the final light cue on saturday night. but i have to say its a real joy to work with these people. they don't bite your head off and they appreciate the work you do. which is a nice change for me :)

so last night i was laying in bed just praying havin' my daily conversation with God and i reached over and picked up my daily bible verse stand. and while i was doing that i just prayed the Lord would allow me to pick one that would be an encouragement to my day and week and to the other people around me. and i took the deck in half and read this one..."you have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in YOUR presence with eternal pleasures at your hand." Psalm 16:11 i really started to think about this verse, and for me just reading this verse excites me. to think through the lord is when ill find my joy, and then will i be on the right path of life, his path of life for me. i dont know about you but just thinking about being on His path for me excites me because I know his plan is far better than my plan ever could be, or even dream to be. and then to think about the joy i will have when im in the presence of the Lord, is amazing. it takes a lot for me to become speechless but i have no doubt in my mind i will be in the presence of the Lord. He is such an amazing God, its hard to even think of the right words to even justify his name!

My prayer is that everyday i bring glory to his kingdom, but i also know that i fail Him. he expects me to fail, that doesnt make it okay but that does give me the assurance that he still loves me.

today, my heart is heavy as their is conflict between my close "family" i pray for that situation, i know there is nothing i can do execpt to pray. what i dont think they understand is that "we" are the next people to raise up a strong leadership team, and even more heavy, to raise up strong Christians on this campus. and if we dont have our bond, through Christ, strong...then how can we even expect to do the Lord's will. he calls us to have peace among our brothers and sisters...and we do not have peace. i'm praying every single day for them, and even more so today as my heart is heavy; but there is nothing i can do except turn it over to the Lord.

So whats heavy on your heart today? are you taking it to the Lord?...

have a blessed day.

em

He can move the mountains

what a glorious day of praise and thanksgiving this has been!

i wake up finding out that today is full of sun shine and warmth, then i go home to find friends, wonderful friends, helping us fix up our house to sell it so my parents can move up here...which i can not wait for! seriously! i want them up here now more than ever! and then i check the mail....ohhh i check the mail. a little back story....exactly one week ago probably even the same time of day...im sitting in my family room crying to my dad about how i dont know how i am going to get the money for this trip...i just have no clue....and then today...i check the mail..and with 6 responses...i have $695! Praise the Lord! because only from him would i ever have that much. seriously people, i dont think you realize, that if i go i only go because the Lord supplies it ALL. AND I MEAN ALL! with my job being so unsteady i have to rely completely on the Lord for every penny for this trip! what an amazing blessing those 6 people were! wow! and just the other day i was praying that the Lord would just confirm again that this is what he wanted me to be doing with my summer, and its confirmed. without a doubt in my mind!!! He is an amazing awesome God, and i keep being humbled before him every single day! and this is just the beginnning of my trip. i can't wait to see what the next months have in store...because getting there is half the journey!!!

i had a great evening with anna and dj...something we all need to work on...our balance...haha because apparently we find our selves tripping over things in every day life, according to wii fit. haha

what an amazing day. really. i cant wait to wake up and start tomorrow! God is good people! despite what you may be going through, i promise God is still good!

have a lovely evening!

em

i am blessed.

well good morning all...well i guess it is now good afternoon....
oh what a few days it has been! so crazy and emotional. but through it all i can see God's provision. and what an amazing thing that is to me. i am so blessed to have that because if i didn't i think i would be more upset than i am. yes, i am sad please don't mistake that but i am so thankful for God protecting my heart! I am also grateful for all of my friends and their watchful eyes through this too. they have had nothing but my best interest at heart and they have said all things in a caring way. i can just feel the Lord preparing me for something big and I cant wait for whatever it is that may be!
I sent off the majority of my support letters last night! we worked on them for over 6 hours! crazzzyyy!!!! we are going to finish the rest sometime this week. but wow! what an amazing God he is to provide all of those friends! A special thanks to Beth and Stefan for the blessings of last night from the ink and the paper to envelops and to the stamps! wow! and you can't forget dinner, homemade pizza! yuumm! such a huge blessing. and another thank you to Jessica and Anna and Tanner for helping! what amazing friends i have been given! you are all a huge gift from god!
as i sit here writing listening to my 2 John play list I'm thinking of our bible study last night, and while we may have gotten off on some tangents in was tangents focused on the Lord. and one thing that i just keep remembering is...am i allowing him to be enough?! am i allowing God to be all I need and want in my life? Reality probably not, but I want to be able to say yes to that! I want him to be all i ever need! and for those of you who want to know what i frantically wrote in my journal last night during our bible study, it was "i have god" because above all else, i have him! i have him when i don't have a new shirt, a pet, a boyfriend, anything. I have God! I have him above anything else, and that is to often forgotten in my life. I want him to allow him to be enough and all i will ever need!
Ive been privileged enough to get to know a young lady named Hayley...who just might be reading this. but i have to say we were talking about her last night and i am very excited to be meeting her soon! and i can already tell that she will be a huge blessing to us and our campus! PS...GOOD LUCK AT NATIONALS HAYLEY!!!!

DJ and i are having some sibling bonding time....he's reading our book for leadership and well I'm typing this...see bonding ;) i really am blessed to have a brother like him. and well all of the other brothers in my life. i am so blessed! i know i have probably said that a million times, but i am! they are such huge gifts from God! ah! i want to say I'm blessed, but you're probably tired of hearing it....but i don't care....I AM BLESSED!

i hope today you get some sort of encouragement from the surroundings in your life...whether that is from a friend, a stranger, a relative, nature, a song....something! be encouraged, and reminded how blessed you are!!!

have a blessed day!
Em

PS...I am currently listening to "walk on water" Brit Nicole....GO LISTEN!

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dictionary.com says....

BLESSED
–adjective
1.
consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified: the Blessed Sacrament.
2.
worthy of adoration, reverence, or worship: the Blessed Trinity.
3.
divinely or supremely favored; fortunate: to be blessed with a strong, healthy body; blessed with an ability to find friends.
4.
blissfully happy or contented.
5.
bringing happiness and thankfulness: the blessed assurance of a steady income.


:)

march 1st...a big day

today. i finally am sending off my deposit for ivory coast. i have it all together. and the package is postmarked! i signed my life away, i am theirs forever. today at 2pm i am going to the post office to make it official....so. i can finally say.... it's official..i am going to Abidjan, Ivory Coast for the summer!!!!!

my stomach is just tossing with excitement and nervousness. i have so many thoughts today i really just don't know how to put them all down in words...

i pray to the Lord every day that I'm not wasting my time here on this earth, i want to make an impact. I want to make a change...all for His glory.

I pray that I don't waste my time with guys who have no future in my life. and i worry sometimes that is whats happening. I'm terrified of getting hurt again. but i know that when the right man comes along i wont get hurt, but I'm scared that I'll fall for the wrong one again.

please don't read into what is above, just remember a lot of things are just thoughts that I'm trying to figure out how to get down...

peace, i need peace. my ultimate peace comes from Christ. and i pray that is where your peace comes from too.

He is my love, my first true love.

He is my safety. and i need and want to be protected.

a very wise woman told me last night, when we stop urning for our the things in life is when we will be given them. we have to find them all in god first, not a human being.

What is distracting you from your walk with God?

think about it...